Anticipating the approach of 1 January is like watching the wind blow the rain into the valley where we live. You can smell, see and hear the rain even before it comes to kiss the earth around your feet. It is like a curtain of blessing the starts to cover the landscape until it swallows our home and our being in its refreshing blanket of water from the sky.

We associate new beginnings, fresh slates and second chances with the arrival of a new year. We celebrate the start of new mercies, almost like we forget that the Lord promises us that there are new mercies every morning.

New Year, Amplified Frustrations

The approach of this new year made me acutely aware of some of my personal frustrations. I have big dreams, and they are far bigger than the current contents of my purse. They require far more than 24 hours in a day and they weigh heavily on my shoulders. I look at the world around me and I want to drop everything and start fixing what needs fixing… but at the same time, I have a “loud” understanding of my role as the mom of 3 children with very big destinies. These babies are no ordinary creations, you will still be affected by them in your lifetime, one way or another…

You see Bishop TD Jakes says it best, I feel like I am sitting in a place where there is suppose to be movement, I feel a like I am in a traffic jam. If you are not moving, something is not working. So either I am causing the traffic jam because my own vehicle for reaching my destiny is in need of some work. Or I am in the right vehicle, but heading the wrong way and getting stuck in the traffic… we are not designed to go with the flow, to travel with the masses, we are designed and called to swim upstream, to be set apart, to be different. The last option is that there is something blocking your way and you can either get more frustrated where you are sitting or you can get off your angry butt and move that thing.

I do not know which one of these are relevant to your situation, but in my case, it was a little bit of all three.

My vehicle was in need of a little TLC.
The area that needed the most adjustment was my calendar. I was simply throwing my hours at those things that are least effective and not getting anywhere. The second area that needs addressing is my need to simplify my life… but this is like washing your car, it is a constant process… (thank you for life-saving mercies.)

As I work on these two aspects of life will write about my victories and blunders… lol.

My direction needed adjustment.
While I was doing the right things, I was doing them for the wrong reasons, and this took me off course. So often we get so busy with doing the right thing, that we forget why we do it and when our why gets foggy, our motivation, our strength and even our abilities seem to wane.

My WHY got challenged… again.

The question that the Lord used to hit my giant between his eyes was simple: what do the activities you are so passionate about, the activities that you are sowing your time and resources into, what do they have to do with winning souls.

Ultimately the great commission is the foundation of our destinies, it is what we are called to do. It is not the first time the Lord asked me this question, it is like the needle pointing to north on your compass. I just neglected to take out my compass for a while, I followed my own head and heart and I got stuck.

There are definitely some blockages in my way. Some may even be messes from my past that were not cleaned up. Maybe my biggest blockage is the monument I started building for myself.

Christine Cain explained this so beautifully in a recent video. She used the text in 2 Samuel 18:18 that states at a time when Absalom had no sons, that he built a monument to himself so that he would not be forgotten…  when you are not raising up spiritual sons and daughters you start building a monument to yourself. When you are trying to hold onto every project the Lord called you to birth instead of trusting the people He sent you to work with and train up, you start building a monument to yourself, instead of trusting that your legacy will live forth through those you trained up.

The beauty of this introspection is that it reminded me that it is not about me, or even the price I will need to pay to do what I am called to do.  I am not my own, I was bought at a price. But I also know that God is with me and He will make a way where there is no way. Some of the blockages may not even be a problem after I have adjusted my direction, some may need to be cleared as a matter of urgency… but this I know there are no dead ends, there are no full stops, for every step I take has been ordered by the Lord, my missteps are no surprise to Him and He will use them to strengthen me.