Sometimes there are situations, conversation and even movies that remind us how far we have come, but they also remind us of how fractured we still are on the inside.

2018 has been such a year for me. I have encountered a series of moments where I was reminded that behind the well practiced wall of “togetherness” that my ducks are squirrels and my row is a rave. Behind the pride of wanting to shine there is still a huge amount of chaos. I am learning that, that too is okay. I am savoring the moments where at least two or three squirrels tend to line dance according to my choreography, while the rest are still doing their own thing… I am learning the difference between important and urgent… and that not everything that is urgent for someone else should be both important and urgent on your schedule.

I am learning that between black and white is a whole spectrum of beautiful Grace. It is in those colourful moments where authentic relationships are forged and strengthened, where you transition from clinging to everything and everyone in fear to trusting Love enough to open your hand and letting things go and letting people be.

I have come to realise that we are raising a culture of people who too easily hold onto things and they too easily let people go. I am all for releasing toxic people, but not everyone who is different from you is toxic. Not everyone who sees things differently is against you. Not everybody who disagrees with you is out to get you. Increase always comes through relationship and when we are so quick to cut people loose or to shrug off a broken relationship, then maybe we too are walking away from increase and from moving forward.

I am starting to learn that as our view of ourselves is magnified, we tend to only look at the veil of togetherness, self claimed holiness and self righteousness and we measure the worthiness of others against that veil. We so easily cut into others because they do not meet our standard and expectations because we focus on their fractures and overlook and disregard our own.

More than anything, in 2018, I have learned the value of torn veils and evident fractures as the cornerstone of authentic relationships that will truly impact lives.